1、你让我帮你砍一下拼多多，我怕麻烦，就说没下载，结果你可开心坏了，你说新用户砍的更多。
You asked me to help you chop, spell more, I was afraid of trouble, said no download, the result you can be happy bad, you said new users cut more.
2、我从来没有离死亡的边缘那么近过，在晚几秒，我就饿死了。
I"ve never been so close to the edge of death, and in a few seconds, I starve to death.
3、别总说自己什么都不会，熬夜玩手机可是一把好手。
Don"t always say that you can"t do anything, staying up late playing mobile phone is a good hand.
4、只要用钱能解决的事情，我是真的无能为力。
As long as the money can solve the matter, I really can"t do anything.
5、手滑点开美团外卖，这是天意！手滑点开keep，这只是个意外。
It"s God"s will to open a meituan takeout! Slip your hand and keep it. It"s just an accident.
6、都说不努力老天会收回你的一切，但你如果一无所有，就连老天也拿你没办法。
They say that if you don"t work hard, God will take back everything you have, but if you have nothing, even God can"t help you.
7、单身挺好，碰到喜欢的人，可以抛媚眼。
It"s good to be single. You can wink at someone you like.
8、看见了天上的星星没有，那是我打排位掉的。
Did you see the stars in the sky? That"s what I ranked.
9、我真服了，谈个恋爱还玩欲擒故纵，打电话不接，发信息不回，要不给你买本三十六计。
I really believe that when I fall in love, I still play hard to get. If I don"t answer the phone or send messages back, I will buy you a thirty-six plan.
10、我经常提醒自己必须成熟一点，但抢我零食的人还是不能放过。
I often remind myself that I have to be mature, but the people who grab my snacks can"t let go.
11、我用生命发誓今年一定可以恋爱，但用谁的命，我还没想好。
I swear with my life that I can fall in love this year, but I haven"t thought about whose life to use.
12、听说双十一什么都便宜，你跟我在一起吧，就当我便宜你了。
It"s said that double eleven is cheap. You can stay with me and treat me as cheap.
13、一言不合我就把你拉黑，因为跟你吵架我从来没赢过。
If you don"t agree, I"ll take you black because I"ve never won a fight with you.
14、一到晚上，我的手机就有精神了，拉着我陪它一起熬夜。
At night, my mobile phone has the spirit, pull me to stay up with it.
15、天气预报说，今天没有西北风，糟糕，没得喝了。
According to the weather forecast, there is no northwest wind today. It"s too bad to drink.
16、一个人吃饭好孤独，但一个人吃零食倒是津津有味。
It"s lonely to eat alone, but it"s delicious to eat snacks.
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