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废弃疯人院 还有10英里
伙计们
Um, guys.
我的地图上说露营点是在右边
My map says that the camp site"s to the right.
什么 你瞎了吗 史黛西
What, are you blind, Stacy?
那边是疯人院
That"s where the insane asylum is.
你不会看箭头吗
Can"t you read arrows?
我不知道 我只是
I don"t know, I just...
我真的有种不详的预感
I really don"t have a good feeling about this.
我们走吧
Let"s go.
这个周末就是要没有规矩 没有衣服
This weekend is all about no rules, no clothes,
也没手机信号
and so cell service.
开车吧 扎克
Drive, Zach.
每次都像是那样
And it"s like that every time.
他的指令让我去做一些坏事
His instructions tell me to do bad things
然后就从电影里退场
and then get out of the movie.
这就是我的工作
That"s my job.
没那么糟 迈克
It"s not that bad, Mike.
你能把手抬高一点吗
Could you put these up a little?
-好 -放在脸前面
- Yeah. - In front of the face.
好了 如果有人向你扑过来
Okay. If someone"s coming at ya,
你要把手放在哪里呢
where you gonna put "em?
这里
Uh, here.
你能记住吗
You gonna remember that?
能
Yes.
靠近脸旁边
Up near the face.
我是说 一开始 他们让我
I mean, first, they had me
往一些阁楼上放邪恶的遗物
planting satanic relics in attics.
然后他们又让我去一个电影里演
Then they made me do that movie
一个可疑的房屋中介
where I was a shady real estate agent.
希望你们喜欢这次参观
Hope you enjoyed the tour.
这是市场上最好的房子了
This, uh... This is the best house on the market.
相信我
Trust me.
只是它看起来好得令人难以置信
It just seems too good to be true.
不不 我并不觉得
Uh, no, no. I don"t think it is, actually.
它只是一般般好而已
It"s got a really average good-to-be-true, uh, ratio.
所以 如果我们去图书馆
So, if we went to the library
要一些相关的剪报
and asked for newspaper clippings
他们不会有任何关于这栋房子
regarding horrific events that occurred on the property,
发生过恐怖事件的报道 对吗
they wouldn"t have any?
是的
Yeah.
我这样说吧 我的好朋友
Yeah, let"s correct, my... my good friend.
任何1975年以后的报纸
Any newspaper after 1975
肯定没有相关新闻
definitely wouldn"t say... anything.
后院里有足够的地方
I mean, is there gonna be enough room
放置你的温室吗
in the backyard for your greenhouse?
迈克
Mike...
地下室可以有地方放火车模型
There would be room in the basement for the train set.
当然 楼上的房间
Of course, the rooms upstairs...
迈克
Mike!
嘿
Hey!
我们买了
Whoo. We"ll take it.
好的 我去拿合同
Okay, I"ll go get the contracts
这样就没人能回头了
so nobody can turn around...
我是说 反悔
I mean, uh, back out.
所以让我们一直保持对视
So, let"s just remain firm eye contact here
直到我们签约盖章
as we seal the deal.
迈克
Mike...
你知道诅咒一个洋娃娃有多难吗
Do you even know how hard it is to curse a doll?
不知道
No.
分很多步骤
Lot of steps.
想当我妈妈吗
我想我知道你的问题在哪了
I think I know what your problem is.
什么
What?
你在寻求积极性
You"re looking for motivation.
当然了 温迪
Yeah. Yeah. Of course I am, Wendy.
我也是个人 我需要动力
You know, I"m a person. I need an arc.
你知道的 我想做更多事情
You know, I want to do something more.
我想做一些好事
I want to do something good.
是啊 但那不是你的工作
Yeah, but it"s not your job.
你是个开场者
You"re a cold opener.
你只有几分钟时间把所有事情安排好
You only have a few minutes to put all the pieces in place.
那我该怎么做呢
What am I supposed to do then?
又轮不到我在片尾出现
You know, it"s not like I get to come in at the end
救下所有好人 抓走所有坏人
and rescue the good guys and arrest the bad guys
然后皆大欢喜 像某些人那样
and have freaking finale, you know, like some people.
你知道吗 我的工作有时也很糟
You know, my job sucks sometimes, too.
我从来没打中过心脏
I have never hit the heart
或者头部
or the brain.
老实说 我从没打中过要害器官
Honestly, I"ve never hit a vital organ,
我真的不明白 因为我一直
and I don"t get it "cause I"m always...
瞄准的是头 但不知为什么
pointed right at the head, and then somehow,
最后总是打在左肩上
it"s always the left shoulder.
-我真的 -也许 也许
- I just... - Maybe, maybe
我能打中要害呢
I could hit a vital organ?
我只是 从来没有过机会
You know, I just... I"ve never gotten the chance.
-迈克 -对不起
- Mike! - Sorry, sorry.
如果你又开始做白日梦
If you start fantasizing again,
我真的要打你的脸了
I"m literally going to punch you in the face.
听着 无意冒犯 但是
Look, no offense, but
你不是什么人物
you"re not a character.
现在你在做的就很适合你
You"re better off with what you have.
这太糟了
Oh...this blows!
好像我们在万圣节帮人看小孩
As if it wasn"t bad enough
还不够糟一样
that we"re babysitting on Halloween.
我们只需找到断路箱就行了
We just need to find the breaker box.
刚那是什么
What was that?
没事的 没事的
It"s okay! It"s okay!
你想干什么
What do you want?!
你们好 我是迈克
Hi, I"m Mike.
我是个
I"m a...
邻居
neighbor.
我只是想看看你们家是不是也停电了
I just wanted, uh, to see if your power went out, too.
停了
It did.
谢谢
Thank you.
晚安
Good night.
只是 我们能不能聊聊
It"s just... C-C-Can we talk?
就一小会儿
Uh, for a second.
很抱歉我吓到了你们
I"m sorry I scared you.
我保证
I promise, I"m...
你们可以信任我
You can trust me.
如果你是邻居 为什么我之前没见过你
If you"re a neighbor, why haven"t I seen you before?
我为帕特森家看小孩好多年了
I"ve been babysitting for the Patterson"s for years.
一个保姆
A babysitter...
当然 太经典了
Of course. That"s classic.
你说什么
Excuse me?
还有 你的眼睛怎么了
And what"s with your eye?
那是什么万圣节装扮吗
Is that some sort of Halloween costume thing?
对 是的
Yeah, oh... That"s right.
当然是 装扮
Definitely, um, a costume.
我刚听到这边有打斗声
Anyways, I just heard some tussling over here
在停电之前 所以我就想过来看看
before the power out and just wanted to check in.
好吧 我们没事
Well, we"re fine.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你确定你不想要
Are you sure you didn"t want like, you know,
有个人和你待在一起
someone to hang out
他会说"那是什么"之类的
and, like, be all, "What was that?"
当有异响或是什么的
If there"s a noise or...
没关系
That"s okay.
我最好的朋友泰丝在这里
I"ve got my best friend Tess here.
你好 泰丝
Hey, Tess.
你觉得再来个
Um, what about, like,
