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谈恋爱吗？同归于尽的那种。
In love? The kind that ends up together.
后来你就会知道，有些人一旦错过的话，那你就要谢天谢地谢广坤！
As you"ll see later, if someone misses out, thank god!
我们要好好努力生活，天天开心呀！反正那些该死的烦恼一个都不会少的！
We should work hard to live a happy life every day! Anyway those damned trouble a all won"t little!
大家都想要练出马甲线，但是我就偏偏不想，你要是问我为什么，那我就大方的告诉你，如果我练了马甲线我就会从一个小熊软糖变成一个小熊硬糖，这样就不可爱了。
Everybody wants to get a waistband, but I don"t want to. If you ask me why, I"m going to tell you that if I get a waistband, I"m going to go from a gummy bear to a hard gummy bear, and that"s not cute.
今天早上称了一下体重，我欣喜地发现我竟然瘦了五斤。怎么回事呢？我昨天没少吃啊，仔细想了一下，原来是我的钻戒还没戴，哈哈哈，我就说嘛，我怎么突然瘦了这么多！
I weighed myself this morning and was delighted to find that I had lost five kilos. What"s going on? I didn"t eat less yesterday, think carefully, the original is my diamond ring has not worn, ha ha ha, I said, I how suddenly thin so much!
最近在我身上发生了一件很灵异的事情，就是我总是时不时地能听到叮当响的声音，我实在太害怕了，就到处寻找声音的来源，最后，我终于发现声音就是从我身上传出来的，原来是我又穷得叮当响了！
Recently, a very strange thing happened to me, is that I can always hear the jingling sound from time to time, I was too afraid, so I looked for the source of the sound everywhere, finally, I finally found that the sound is coming from me, it is Me poor jingling again!
我劝那些想我的人，直接告诉我就好了，一天到晚老是让我打喷嚏算是怎么回事呀！
I advise those who think of me, just tell me directly, always let me sneeze is what is the matter!
我觉得吧，你让我一天喝八杯水真的很难，但是如果你让我一天喝八杯奶茶的话，就很简单了，只要你一句话“请你喝”，我就能够完成。
I think it"s really hard for me to drink eight glasses of water a day, but if you ask me to drink eight cups of milk tea a day, it"s easy. As long as you say "buy me a drink", I can finish it.
我今天的心情有点不愉快，我知道不是因为你造成的，但是我还是想问，你能不能跟我道个歉。
I"m a little upset today. I know you didn"t cause it, but I still wanted to ask if you could apologize to me.
你知道我为什么不喜欢去银行吗？因为有一些东西本来就没有，就算去了也是自取其辱不是吗？
Do you know why I don"t like going to the bank? Because there are some things that don"t exist in the first place, and if they do, it"s humiliating, isn"t it?
等我发完这条朋友圈，我就不再更新了，刚好让你们也体会一下这思念的滋味。
After I send this friend circle, I will not update, just let you also experience the taste of missing.
问我为什么喜欢发朋友圈？我是这样想的，发朋友圈和发财我总得要发一个吧！
Ask me why I like to post friends? I am so think, hair friend circle and make a fortune I must want to post one!
这个世界上让人意外的那种事情很多很多，比如你会以为我要给你举个例子。哈哈哈！
There are so many surprising things in this world that you would think I was going to give you an example. Ha ha ha!
不要再熬夜了，不然你的头就会像机关枪一样，突突突（秃秃秃）的！
Don"t stay up late, or your head will be like a machine gun!
看到这篇文章的单身狗，一个星期之内肯定脱单，如果不灵的话，就回来找我，我会一巴掌拍死你这个不争气的东西。（纯属娱乐，莫要当真，保命小编）
See this article of the single dog, within a week is certain to take off single, if not working, come back to me, I will slap you this not strive for things. (Just for fun. Don"t take it seriously.
结语：生活已经如此艰难了，我们总得要为这枯燥的生活找点乐趣吧！沙雕搞笑文案送给你们，希望可以逗心情不好的你们会心一笑。
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