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读后续写速成
“故事山”分析法
Part1.“故事山”的核心：故事高潮
文学故事中的高潮（climax）----故事的主要场景（key scene）也通常是故事的转折点（turning point），是指故事达到最紧张或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有时候是剧情中的"危机"点。有时候, 它只是达到关键时刻或者转折点, 发生了一些事情, 或者主角必须做出决定, 从而导致一个结果或其他。我们在分析叙事类故事或者小说故事的时候常常用下面的图表来表示故事情节。
常见故事高潮示例：
1. A little girl has been searching for her lost dog. All of a sudden, she hears a bark coming from around the corner, and she looks around to see . . .一个小女孩一直在寻找她丢失的狗。 突然，她听到拐角处传来一声吠声，她环顾四周看......
2. Kevin has worked very hard to try out for the soccer team at school. The coach has posted a list of this year"s team members on his office door. Kevin walks forward to look at the list . . . .一个小女孩一直在寻找她丢失的狗。 突然，她听到拐角处传来一声吠声，她环顾四周看......3. Mary"s parents have been discussing whether or not to move to another state. They call Mary and her sister down to talk with them about their decision . . .玛丽的父母一直在讨论是否搬到另一个州。 他们打电话给玛丽和她妹妹，和他们谈谈他们的决定......4. Lois has performed in the state gymnastics finals. She waits anxiously to hear the names of the winners. The announcer says, "And first place goes to . . ."露易丝参加了州体操决赛。 她焦急地等待着听到获奖者的名字。 播音员说：“首先是......”
Part2. 如何用“冲突”营造故事的高潮？
方法1.增加外部冲突
增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感, 将故事推向必要的解决或崩溃。
1）角色之间的冲突 (人物观点差异, 竞争需要等)
【例1】2017年11月浙江英语高考：On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn"t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. 开车找旅馆---徒劳无功---母亲建议搭帐篷在他人后院---David和我倍感紧张，心有不悦（母子的观点不一）
2) 角色与环境之间的冲突
【例2】2017年6月浙江英语高考： Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. ……he saw instantly that it wasn"t a dog at all, but a wolf: quickly catching up with him. Mac"s heart jumped. ……, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac"s relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, ……. Then it ……, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back ……
Mac骑车独自行，路遇饿狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。（人（角色）----狼（环境）大战）
【翻译】然后麦克听到身后急促而响亮的呼吸声。 他立刻看到那根本不是一只狗，而是一只狼：赶快追上他。 麦克心跳。 他向狼开枪。 一朵鲜红的云笼罩着这只动物，令麦克松了一口气，它倒了回去，摇了摇头。 但一分钟后，...。 然后...，撕开他的帐篷包。 他第二次朝那只狼开枪，它又一次掉了下来...
3) 时间依赖的发展 ：决策变得紧急
【例3】 2017年6月浙江英语高考：The car abruptly stopped in front of him. "Get into the car." Paul shouted at Mac. Mac jumped off the bike and slid into the car without delay as the wolf was just two steps away and was about to tear Mac into pieces. What a narrow escape! 骑车突停面前---急喊上车---Max上车避险---饿狼近在咫尺（此情此景，刻不容缓）
【翻译】汽车突然停在他面前。 “上车。” 保罗对麦克喊道。 麦克从自行车上跳下来，毫不拖延地滑进了车里，因为狼就在两步外，正要把麦克撕成碎片。 多么狭窄的逃生通道啊！
4) 增加的障碍：人物角色必须克服 挑战, 以达到他们的目标
【例4】2018年6月高考But before we jumped off the horses, we found that we had been off the beaten track and got lost. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. Exhausted and hungry, I wondered if we could find our way back. 小兔突现---马儿受惊---草原迷路（障碍1）----天色渐黑（障碍2）----又累又饿（障碍3）----心理恐慌（障碍4）
【翻译】但在我们跳下马之前，我们发现我们已经离开了被打败的轨道，迷路了。 我们不知道我们在哪天天黑了。 我又累又饿，想知道我们能不能找到回去的路。
方法2. 放大内心冲突
放大内心冲突（你的角色的内心斗争）也有助于建立一个高度紧张和不确定的时刻。
现在我们在来看高考读后续写中的内心冲突是如何体现的：
【例5】2016年10月浙江高考： Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded in and she couldn"t help crying, "Hadn"t I quarrelled with Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I wouldn"t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
夫妇争吵---独自行走---荒野走散---夜色渐黑---独处森林---阴森恐怖---后悔莫及（内心冲突的刻画）内心独白（往昔对比+虚拟语气使用+旁边描写是常见技巧之一）
【翻译】立刻，一片绝对的黑暗统治着森林。 简精疲力竭，又害怕，躺在一块石头附近，远远地想念她的家人。 所有奇妙的记忆都涌了进来，她忍不住哭了起来，“要不是我和汤姆吵架，走开，爬到高处，我就不会被困在这个可怕的地方，面对死亡的危险。”她带着无尽的焦虑后悔了，然后在她眼里闪着泪花睡着了。
方法3. 使用环境描写增加不确定性
充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用，具体方法可以看上期读后续写微技能。当故事角色在碰到困难时候，我们往往要加大笔墨来描写故事环境的黑暗，恐怖和不祥。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素。我们感受到了紧张的倍增。
【例6】Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest(黑暗). Even worse, the temperature suddenly dropped dramatically. (寒冷）
【翻译】立刻，一片绝对的黑暗统治着森林（黑暗）。 更糟糕的是，气温突然急剧下降。
【例7】It didn’t take long for the forest to be enveloped in darkness（黑暗）. Her rasping breath steamed（寒冷） in the moonlight and her throat was parched from thirst.
【翻译】没过多久森林就被笼罩在黑暗中（黑暗）。 她在月光下呼吸急促（寒冷），喉咙因口渴而干渴。
Part3. 如何通过场景营造心情
方法 1: 拟人
给一个物体一个生物的特征，把它带到生活中。
【例8】
The flowers nodded. 花点了点头。
Snowflakes danced. 雪花在跳舞。
Thunder grumbled. 雷霆抱怨道。
Fog crept in. 雾悄悄地进来了。
The wind howled. 风呼啸着。
The haunted house seemed to stare at me, beckoning me towards the door.
鬼屋似乎盯着我，示意我朝门口走去。
方法2: 明喻
明喻是把一些东西比作其他东西，给出了更详细的描述。
【例9】The night sky was as dark as the deepest ocean.夜空像最深的海洋一样黑暗。
The stars sparkled like diamonds. 星星像钻石一样闪闪发光。
The snake moved like a ripple on a pond. 那条蛇像池塘上的涟漪一样移动。
方法3: 暗喻
暗喻说把某物比作别的东西，给描写更多的力量。
【例10】A wave of terror washed over him.一阵恐怖的浪潮冲过他。
方法4: 生动的形容词
通过使用更富有想象力的描述，使故事更加有趣和生动。
【例11】：
Gleaming, glistening, whispery flakes of snow闪闪发光的雪片
方法5: 否定描述
通过使用这种更富有想象力的描述，使故事更加有趣和生动。
【例12】：
There was no cushion, no carpet, no warmth, no light and no comfort.没有垫子，没有地毯，没有温暖，没有光，没有舒适。
方法6: 摄影-全景+放大
使用电影导演工作手法，你可以给出一个更广泛的观点，然后集中在一个细节上
【例13】From the withering trees he looked past the littered farmyard, across to the decrepit hovel. Its doors hung sadly awry, the handle broken.
【翻译】从枯萎的树木中，他望过散落的农家庭院，穿过破旧的小屋。 它的门挂得很难看，把手断了。
方法7: 细节名词
场景中充满了我们看到的东西，因此使用了大量的名词，甚至是名词列表来表达那里的东西。
【例14】
The rooms were crowded with lanterns fastened on oak paneled walls, tables laid with silver candlesticks and goblets.
房间里挤满了挂在橡木镶板墙上的灯笼，桌子上摆着银烛台和高脚杯。
方法8: 感官
通过所有的感官描写，营造场景，让读者了解你的性格、心情，推动情节发展。
【例15】Wafts of salt-laden air were in her nostrils as the skittery sand on her feet led her to the edge of the waves.她的鼻孔里弥漫着一股咸咸的空气，脚上的滑沙把她带到了海浪的边缘。
场景佳句：
1. The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.
屋子里散发着霉味和潮湿的气息，还有点甜，仿佛是被久违的饼干鬼鬼祟祟的。2. The sun kept dipping down into the ocean and the lights came on at the harbor, casting sudden shadows on the ground, illuminating the faces that were just a second ago silhouettes. The sky was golden and purple, the ocean a darker shade of violet.
太阳不停地向海洋倾斜，港口的灯光亮了起来，在地面上投下突然的阴影，照亮了刚刚一秒钟前的轮廓。 天空是金色和紫色的，海洋是更深的紫罗兰色。3. The sun had set, but a faint pastel haze lingered in the mid-summer sky.太阳已经落山了，但一层淡淡的淡雾在仲夏的天空中挥之不去。4. They rolled up the path, tree branches raking the windshield like angry wardens.他们卷起小路，树枝像愤怒的狱警一样敲打着挡风玻璃。5. Outside, the air filled with cricket noise, as the sun reddened in its descent.外面，空气中充满了蟋蟀的声音，太阳在下降时变红了。6. A restaurant overlooking a starlit night sprang to my imagination like something out of an illuminated manuscript from the late Middle Ages.一个俯瞰星光灿烂的夜晚的餐馆，就像中世纪晚期一份被照亮的手稿中的某种东西一样，跃然于我的脑海。 7. The moon went slowly down in loveliness; she departed into the depth of the horizon, and long veil-like shadows crept up the sky through which the stars appeared. 月亮慢慢地美丽地落下来，她走进了地平线的深处，长长的面纱般的阴影爬上了星星出现的天空。
8. All brightness was gone, leaving nothing. We stepped out of the tent onto nothing. Sledge and tent were there, Estraven stood beside me, but neither he nor I cast any shadow. There was dull light all around, everywhere. When we walked on the crisp snow no shadow showed the footprint. We left no track. Sledge, tent, himself, myself: nothing else at all. No sun, no sky, no horizon, no world.所有的亮度都消失了，什么也没有留下。 我们从帐篷里出来什么都没有。 在那里有雪橇和帐篷，以斯特拉文站在我旁边，但他和我都没有投下任何阴影。 到处都是暗光。 当我们在清脆的雪地上行走时，没有影子显示出脚印。 我们没有留下痕迹。 雪橇，帐篷，自己，我自己：没有别的了。 没有太阳，没有天空，没有地平线，没有世界。9. Night had fallen fast upon the land. No more than an hour ago the sky was painted with hues of red, orange and pink, but all colour had faded leaving only a matt black canvas with no stars to be looked upon. 夜幕已降临大地上。 不到一个小时前，天空被涂上了红色、橙色和粉红色的颜色，但所有的颜色都褪色了，只留下了一无光泽的黑色帆布，没有星星可看。10．It would be a cold moonless night. The sky was dark and low, the air so chilled it hurt to breathe. Already the ground was laid white with frost and any water that had been liquid under the winter sun had become ice.那将是一个寒冷的无月夜。 天空又黑又低，空气如此冷，呼吸起来很痛。 地面已经被霜冻覆盖，在冬天的阳光下，任何液态的水都变成了冰。
Part 4. 如何写好读后续写的开头
一个好的故事开头就好比是一个带着香味十足的诱饵，诱使读者上钩并且饶有趣味地看完。而一个拙劣的故事开头，定会让读者大倒胃口，恹恹欲睡。“well begun is half done！”可见，写好一个好故事的好开头是多么的重要。那么到底在时间紧迫的考场上如何写出靓丽的开头呢？
副词Carefully, he stepped over all the broken glass.Joyfully he skipped up the street.Para 1： (201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para1：But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. （时间副词衔接+环境描写）但是没有直升机来了，天又黑了。 立刻，一片绝对的黑暗统治着森林。
2. 形容词Curious to know what was inside, he tiptoed into the dark cave.Unable to say a word, he was rooted to the spot.(201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Desperate and hopeless, Jane knelt down, tears streaming down her face. （并列情绪形容词）但是没有直升机来了，天又黑了。 绝望和绝望，简跪下来，眼泪从她的脸上流下来。
(201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Weak as she was, she struggled to her feet, continuing searching for assistance. （状态形容词+as/though 引导的倒装句）
简醒来的时候天已经亮了。 虽然她很虚弱，但她挣扎着站起来，继续寻找帮助。
(201806浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse. Afraid that I might hurt the lovely small creature, I automatically let out a cry to stop my horse. (情绪形容词+从句)
突然，一只小兔子在我的马前面跳了出来。 我害怕我会伤害这个可爱的小生物，我自动发出一声喊叫来阻止我的马。
(201806浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: We had no idea where we were and it got dark. Exhausted and hungry, I wondered if we could find our way back. 我们不知道我们在哪天天黑了。 我又累又饿，想知道我们能不能找到回去的路。3. 非谓语Looking around him cautiously, he slipped into the room and softly closed the door.Exhausted, he was glad the race was finally over.
(201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录) Para1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Feeling disappointed, Jane had to stay alone for another night. （现在分词+情绪形容词）
(201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录) Para 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Feeling refreshed, she continued to walk along the stream to find the way out.（现在分词+状态形容词）
4. 从句
As he walked, he whistled 他边走边吹口哨Although he was afraid, he jumped right in. 虽然他很害怕，但他还是跳了进去。5. 介词短语At the end of the lane he suddenly stopped. 在车道的尽头，他突然停了下来。At the sight of the snake, the little girl screamed at the top of her voice.一看到蛇，小姑娘尖声尖叫起来。
6. 对话或独白“Let’s see who gets there first!” Rachel shouted, as she pedaled fast and zoomed past Jenny.
一看到蛇，小姑娘尖声尖叫起来。“Hold on tight!” My father yelled. We just finished bucking in as the coaster jerked into motion. This was my first roller coaster ride.“抓紧！”我父亲喊道。 我们刚坐完，过山车突然开动了。 这是我第一次坐过山车。(201706浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him. "Get into the car." Paul shouted at Mac. 汽车突然停在他面前。 “上车。” 保罗对麦克喊道。
7. 人物描写Mark is a studious boy who loves reading. His classmates often tease him for being too hardworking and they call him Mr. Smart. One afternoon, while studying at home…
马克是个好学的男孩，他喜欢读书。 他的同学经常取笑他太努力了，他们叫他斯马特先生。 一天下午，在家里学习的时候...
8. 情感描写The moment she saw how she did for her Science test, tears started welling up in Tina’s eyes and falling down her cheeks.
当她看到她在科学测试中的表现时，蒂娜的眼泪开始涌出，从她的脸颊滑落下来
9. 背景描写
I closed my eyes to enjoy the gentle breeze and the sounds of the clashing waves. Gently opening my eyes, I saw my parents taking a relaxing stroll along the beach.
我闭上眼睛欣赏微风和海浪的声音。 轻轻地睁开眼睛，我看到我的父母在海滩上悠闲地散步。
The cave was dark and everything was silent. I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. I knew this adventure was going to be something that I would never forget.
山洞一片漆黑，一切都寂静无声。 我甚至看不到我的手在我的面前。 我知道这次冒险是我永远不会忘记的。
(201711浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. I looked out of the car window, winding rivers, lofty mountains, sunny beaches and deep valleys holding me entirely in their fascination. （视觉+环境描写+拟人）
我们开车经过几个州，沿途看到了许多伟大的景色。 我望着车窗外，蜿蜒的河流，高耸的山脉，阳光明媚的海滩和深邃的山谷，完全吸引了我的注意力。
10. 行为描写
Furry started wagging his tail and running around in circles when he saw his master taking a leash out from the drawer. Furry was all ready for his evening walk.
当他看到他的主人从抽屉里拿出一条皮带时，Furry开始摇，绕着圈跑。 Furry准备好了晚上的散步。
(201711浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. Dad exchanged a glance with me. Why not camp to satisfy Mom? （动作描写+问句衔接）
第二天，我们想起了我们带来的崭新的帐篷。 爸爸和我交换了一眼。 为什么不露营来满足妈妈？’
11. 音效
BOOM, CRASH! The wind was howling outside of my house. We were having a terrible thunder storm. I was very scared.
砰，撞车！ 风在我家外面呼啸。 我们遇到了可怕的雷雨。 我很害怕。
12. 问题
Have you ever been on a self-driving trip? Let me tell you an exciting trip my family took this summer.你去过自驾游吗？ 让我告诉你一个令人兴奋的旅行，我的家人今年夏天。
Why does trouble always follow me around? Do I have a "kick me" sign on my back or something?
为什么麻烦总是跟着我？ 我背上有“踢我”的牌子吗？
神态动作描写:
David excitedly narrated our experience, eyes blazing with enthusiasm. Worries came to his forehead when he explained the trouble. A smile lifted the corner of his mouth when it came to camping.大卫兴奋地讲述了我们的经历，眼睛里充满了热情。 当他解释这个麻烦时，他的额头上出现了忧虑。 来到露营时，他的嘴角扬起了一个微笑。
Part 5. 两种结尾模式
方法1： 首尾呼应
【举例1】2017年浙江高考题
开头：I had an interesting childhood. It was filled with suprises and amusements, all because of my mother--loving, sweet, yet absent-minded and forgetful. One strange faimly trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.我有一个有趣的童年。 它充满了惊喜和娱乐，这一切都是因为我的母亲-爱，甜蜜，但心不在焉和健忘。 在我十一岁的时候，我们进行了一次奇怪的滑稽旅行，告诉了我很多关于她的事情。
结尾：Despite mom"s being absent-minded and forgetful, she was still a kind and nice mom. 尽管妈妈总是心不在焉，健忘，但她仍然是一个和蔼可亲的妈妈。
【举例2】2018年浙江高考题
开头：It was summer and my dad wanted to treat me to a vacation like never before. He decided to take me on a trip to the Wild West. 那是夏天，我爸爸想像以前一样请我去度假。 他决定带我去西部荒野之旅。
结尾：Never had I had such a thrilling yet dangerous vacation before. The special trip to the Wild West was deeply engraved in my mind. 我从来没有过这么刺激又危险的假期。那次去西部的特别旅行，深深地印在我的脑海里。
【举例3】2016年浙江高考题
开头：A funny thing happened to Arthur when he was on the way to work one day.一天，亚瑟在上班的路上发生了一件有趣的事情。
结尾：What a funny day. Arthur couldn"t stop laughing whenever he looked back on this hilarious experience. 多么有趣的一天啊，每当亚瑟回想起这次欢乐的经历，他就忍不住笑个不停。
【举例4】2020年浙江高考卷
原文结尾：A few minutes later, the helicopter arrived. As we were lifted into the air, we saw the stubborn bear was already heading back to our camp. When Elli and I got home and developed our pictures, we noticed this bear had broken an important tooth. Like humans, polar bears feel pain, have emotions, and can be afraid. Elli and I learned our lesson: beware of a bear with a toothache. 几分钟后，直升机到达了。 当我们被抬到空中时，我们看到那只固执的熊已经回到了我们的营地。 当艾利和我回到家，开发我们的照片时，我们注意到这只熊折断了一颗重要的牙齿。 和人类一样，北极熊会感到痛苦，有情绪，也会害怕。 艾利和我学到了我们的教训：当心有牙痛的熊。
方法2：升华主题
【举例1】Everyone has one person they look up to as a role model. To me there is none other than my mom. She has beauty, brains, and one of the best hearts I know. Without her in my life, I would have no idea whether I can be a famous dancer. Someday, when I am older and have children of my own, I hope I can be just as great a parent as my mom.（母爱的深远影响）
每个人都有一个榜样。对我来说，不是别人，正是我妈妈。她很漂亮，很聪明，而且是我认识的最用心的人之一。如果没有她，我不知道我能不能成为一个著名的舞者。有一天，当我长大了，有了自己的孩子，我希望我能成为像我妈妈一样伟大的父（母）亲。
【举例2】I am extremely unhappy about it. I think money doesn’t equal happiness. And free life style also doesn’t equal happiness. The real happiness is that everyone loves each other, and does everything useful for our society. Most of my classmates support me. But some of them think money is everything. In my opinion, money can’t take the place of everything, such as your life, your time and your happiness. (表达自己的价值观）我对此非常不高兴。我觉得金钱不等于幸福。自由的生活方式也不等于幸福。真正的幸福是每个人都彼此相爱，为我们的社会做一切有益的事情。大多数同学都支持我。但有些人认为钱就是一切。在我看来，金钱不能代替一切，比如你的生活，你的时间和你的幸福。
【举例3】
“Two reasons account for that you won，” the teacher answered. “First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. Second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm. It is your biggest weakness that makes you win the match. As a proverb says, ‘Every coin has two sides.’ Making full use of your strength is your achievement. Please remember that in no case will you give up especially in trouble. God is fair to everyone.” (借用名言警句来升华主题）“有两个原因可以解释为什么你赢了，”老师回答。“首先，你几乎掌握了柔道中最难的一个动作。其次，这个动作唯一已知的防御方法，就是让你的对手抓住你的左臂。这是你最大的弱点，让你赢得比赛。正如谚语所说，‘每枚硬币都有两面。’充分利用你的力量就是你的成就。请记住，在任何情况下，你都不要放弃，尤其是遇到麻烦的时候。上帝对每个人都是公平的。”
本文如果对你有帮助，请点赞收藏《高考英语读后续写技法讲解与训练——“故事山”分析法》，同时在此感谢原作者。
