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1.今天的砖头格外凉，微风刮过我的脸庞，我很迷茫，究竟什么时候才能住进富婆的心房。
Today"s brick is particularly cool, the breeze across my face, I am very confused, when to live in the rich woman"s heart.
2.希望我自己能成为一个有趣和有钱的人，实在不行，光有钱也行。
I hope I can become an interesting and rich person. I really can"t. money alone is OK.
3.收一个关门弟子，学费999，只教关门，现在报名，还教关灯关窗，不傻的别来，我怕我骂不过你。
Accept a close disciple, tuition 999, only teach close, now sign up, also teach turn off the light, close the window, not stupid don"t come, I"m afraid I can"t scold you.
4.大家见过猪吗？今天教大家一个魔术，只要照照镜子，就可以看到小猪猪了。
Have you ever seen a pig? Today, I"ll teach you a magic trick. Just look in the mirror and you can see the pig.
5.你想谈恋爱吗？罢了，还是弹棉花吧。
Do you want to fall in love? Just play cotton.
6.换情侣网名吗？我叫鲸落南北，你叫鲨掉东西。
Do you want to change your online name? My name is whale falling north and south, and you ask shark to drop things.
7.小时候我妈教我用筷子，我学不会她就打我，长大了我教我妈用手机，她学不会还是打我。
When I was a child, my mother taught me to use chopsticks, and she beat me if I couldn"t learn. When I grew up, I taught my mother to use mobile phones, but she still beat me if she couldn"t learn.
8.花呗还不起了，出售一套北京二环内房子，顶楼自带泳池200平，已装修完，有意者打50元咨询款。
Huabai can"t afford it any more. I"m selling a house in the second ring road of Beijing, with a swimming pool on the top floor of 200 square meters. It has been renovated. Those who want to pay 50 yuan for consultation.
9.一罐可乐的热量是五百多大卡，要消耗这些热量需要跑步一小时，所以现在你还敢跑吗？跑了就白喝了。
A can of coke has more than 500 calories. It takes an hour to run to burn these calories, so do you dare to run now? Run away and drink for nothing.
10.我姓迪丽，住在在热带，后院种了很多芭蕉，所以你们应该叫我？
My name is Dili. I live in the tropics. I grow a lot of plantains in my backyard, so you should call me?
11.出门打工七年，回家发现空调没关，电费32.8万。
After working for seven years, I found that the air conditioner was not turned off and the electricity cost was 328000.
12.给我52帮介绍cp，不成功退你25.
Give me 52 help introduce CP, fail to return you 25
13.还有八个月我就过生日了，现在吃个蛋糕不过分吧。
I"ll have my birthday in eight months. It"s not too much to eat a cake now.
14.搭讪其实也讲究技巧，要在正常的时间，正常的地点，找到正确的人，比如此时我就在线。
In fact, chatting up also pays attention to skills, to find the right person at the normal time and place, such as when I am online.
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