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买定离手，恕不退还。
Buy it away, and it will not be refunded.
终于可以合法飙车了。
It is finally possible to drag racing legally.
房产证写你的名字，我妈会游泳，难产保大人，余生请你指教。
The real estate certificate writes your name, my mother can swim, dystocia, adult, please advise you for the rest of your life.
随了这么多年的份子钱，终于可以回款了。
With so many years" worth of money, I can finally get the money back.
今天民政局发对象，我去领了一个。
Today the Civil Affairs Bureau issued an object, I went to pick one.
由于xx同学恋爱期间表现良好，特发此证，以资鼓励，再接再厉。
Because XX students performed well during their relationship, they issued this certificate specially to encourage and make persistent efforts.
我的第二杯半价变成无限续杯了。
My second half price has become infinitely renewed.
初见乍欢，久处仍怦然。
At first glance, I was still surprised for a long time.
考了一本证，这证考了8年，是我时间花得最多但却最荣幸最开心的了。
I took a test. This test took 8 years. It was the most honorable and fun time I spent the most time.
没啥事，跟你们说一下，今儿结婚了。
It"s okay, let me tell you, we are married today
.
告知一下，我们正式结束恋爱关系。
Let me know that we officially ended the relationship.
第一次做人家老婆，有时候做得不好的地方，就按照我的来，谢谢。
For the first time, being a wife, sometimes doing bad things, just follow me, thank you.
女朋友再见！老婆，你好！
Goodbye girlfriend!
Hello wife!
今天是个好日子，喜提国家级证书和长期饭票。
Today is a good day to mention national certificates and long-term meal tickets.
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