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每天只想快点回家躲到被窝里，毕竟在外面跟演戏似的。
Every day I just want to go home quickly and hide in the bed. After all, it"s like acting outside.
你找不到理想的另一半，很正常啊，你也没有成为理想的自己，不是吗？
It"s normal that you can"t find your ideal partner. You haven"t become your ideal self, have you?
上班就像旧时代的婚姻，明明不幸福还得长相厮守。
Going to work is like a marriage in the old days. If you are not happy, you have to stay together forever.
当男人遇见女人，从此只有纪念日，没有独立日。
When a man meets a woman, there is only memorial day, no independence day.
老板用你的时候你就是人才，不用你的时候就变成裁人。
When the boss uses you, you are a talent. When he doesn"t use you, he becomes a layoff.
别说什么是我上辈子欠你的了，你有本事，把欠条拿出来给我看看。
Don"t say what I owe you in my last life. You have the ability to show me the IOU.
年轻人不要老想着天上会掉馅饼，要脚踏实地，也许地上会捡到钱呢？
Young people don"t always think that there will be pie in the sky. They should be down-to-earth. Maybe they will find money on the ground?
尽量撮合身边的同学吧，以后会省很多份子钱。
Try to match up the students around you, you will save a lot of money in the future.
你都从没得到过名利，却跟我说什么要淡泊名利。
You never get fame and fortune, but you tell me to be indifferent to fame and fortune.
愿有人陪你颠沛流离，而我舒舒服服窝在家里数钱。
I"d like someone to accompany you, and I"ll be at home counting money.
我不会眼睁睁看着你死的，我会闭着眼睛
I won"t watch you die. I"ll keep my eyes closed
白雪公主诠释了七个小屌丝对她再好，也不及高富帅的一个吻。
Snow White explained that no matter how good the seven losers were to her, they were not as good as a kiss from Gao Fu Shuai.
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
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