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一、告诉你一个小秘诀，如果你现在这份工作做得不开心的话，那么就去加油站工作吧，因为那样的话，就会有很多人跟你说，加油，而且他们还会给你钱，想想都很激动。
Here"s a tip. If you"re not happy in your current job, go work for a gas station, because then you"ll get a lot of people telling you to go, and they"ll give you money, and it"ll be exciting.
二、女神回眸一笑百媚生，女汉子本来想回眸一笑的，可是没曾想全校出了一个大大的鼻涕泡。
Goddess return to mou a smile 100 fawny living, female man originally want to return to mou a smile of, but did not ever think the whole school out of a big nose bubble.
三、如果你觉得自己不行了的时候，你就要跑到马路上走一走，因为这样的话你就成为了一个行人了。
If you think you can"t, you have to run to the road to walk, because then you become a pedestrian.
四、现在真的好怀念我还很瘦的时候啊！毕竟那个时候的我只有五斤多，而现在却吃成了一百多斤。
Now really good miss I still very thin ah! After all, at that time, I only had five catties, but now I ate more than one hundred catties.
五、假如一个人总是陪你熬夜打游戏，聊天，那么时间一长，你就会发现都是因为这个人你才会熬夜导致皮肤变差，长痘，所以你一定要远离他！
If a person always accompanies you to stay up late to play games, chat, so time grows, you can discover because of this person you just can stay up late to cause the skin to become poor, acne, so you must stay away from him!
六、今天下雨，早上去上班的时候，一辆兰博基尼从我的身边飞快地驶过，见了我一身的水，于是我就很生气，在心里慢慢地发誓以后要大度点，不就没事了嘛，心态要放平和一些。
It rained today. When I went to work in the morning, a Lamborghini passed by me quickly and saw the water all over my body. So I was very angry and vowed in my heart slowly to be generous in the future.
七、如果未来有一天我变成了福布斯排行榜第一名，那么这句话我就不会加如果了！
If one day in the future I become the Forbes list number one, then this sentence I will not add if!
八、假如一只猪被其它的猪孤立了，那么请问他会变成什么？它就会变成“朱古力”呀！
If a pig is isolated by other pigs, what will he become? It will become "chocolate"!
九、如果不是今天早上被尿憋醒的话，我想此刻的我，正开着我的私人飞机环游世界呢！
If I hadn"t woken up with urine this morning, I"d be flying around the world in my private jet.
十、你以为每个女生减肥只是嘴上说说而已嘛，其实并不是，她们还会发朋友圈，还会换头像，还会换背景！
You think every girl is just talking about losing weight, but in fact it is not. They will also post on Moments, change their profile pictures and change their backgrounds!
十一、假如这个世界上，所有的事情，都能够像我们长肉一样那么的简单，那么这个世界该有多美好呀！
If the world, all the things, can be as simple as we grow flesh, so the world should be more beautiful ah!
十二、今天遇到了一个骗子，他走在我旁边的时候，嘴里一直念叨着冷死了，冷死了，可是我跟了他好几条街，他都没有死，现在的骗子真是太多了，你们出门的时候都要小心啊！
Today met a liar, when he walked beside me, his mouth has been chanting cold dead, cold dead, but I followed him several streets, he did not die, now the liar is really too many, you go out of the time to be careful!
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