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1、不要再说我胖了，我这不是胖，是对生活过敏导致的肿胀。
Don"t say I"m fat. I"m not fat, it"s swelling caused by allergies to life.
2、我想不明白为什么我这么穷，还能这么胖，到底是哪个环节出了问题。
I can"t understand why I"m so poor and fat, and which link went wrong.
3、年纪大了，都不敢用可爱的宝宝当头像了，怕别人以为是我生的。
Old, do not dare to use a cute baby as a picture, for fear that others think it was born of me.
4、每天过着八戒的生活，却想要悟空的身材。
I live the life of Bajie everyday, but I want Wukong"s figure.
5、有人认识人贩子吗？出个价吧，我想把自己卖了，我养不起了。
Does anyone know the trafficker? Give me a price. I want to sell myself. I can"t afford it.
6、没人理解你，很委屈吗？数学你理解吗？它都不委屈。
No one understands you. Is that a grievance? Do you understand mathematics? It is not aggrieved.
7、我没有美国朋友，但我有好多在中国保持美国作息的朋友。
I don"t have any American friends, but I have many friends who keep working and resting in America in China.
8、我刚准备坠入爱河，可是河神和我说不要往河里扔垃圾。
I was just about to fall in love, but the river god told me not to throw rubbish into the river.
9、少女会老，少女心不会，无论几岁，快乐万岁。
Girls will grow old, but girls" hearts will not. No matter how old they are, long live happiness.
10、其实所有的旅行攻略都没必要看，浓缩成四个字就是：多带点钱。
In fact, there is no need to read all the travel strategies, which can be condensed into four words: bring more money.
11、离五百万最近的一次是在一个下午，我和一辆运钞车并排堵在一起。
The last time I was five million was in an afternoon when I was stuck side by side with a cash truck.
12、有些人表面看起来光鲜亮丽，其实背地里每天早早起来偷我的绿色能量。
Some people look bright on the surface, but in fact they secretly get up early every day and steal my green energy.
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