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哎，像我们单身神仙跟凡人谈恋爱，是要触犯天条的！
Ah, it"s against the rules for us to fall in love with mortals!
这么多年，我就想问问，餐厅里的情侣套餐是到底是什么味儿！有人愿意跟我一起去吃吗？
For so many years, I want to ask, what is the taste of the couple set meal in the restaurant! Would anyone like to eat with me?
当你问我单身几年了？ 就感觉你好像是在问我的年龄一样尴尬。
How many years have I been single? It feels like you"re asking my age.
如果说女人如衣服，想不到，我已经裸奔二十几年了！
If women are like clothes, unexpectedly, I have been naked for more than 20 years!
人生啊，别人吃的叫山珍海味，而我天天吃都是别人投递的狗粮！
Life, what others eat is called delicacies, but I eat dog food delivered by others every day!
单身也有单身的理由，如若找不到心仪的伞，就只能冒雨前行。
There are also reasons for being single. If you can"t find your favorite umbrella, you can only go ahead in the rain.
别问我感情上的建议，我是单身狗，只建议分手。
Don"t ask me for emotional advice. I"m a single dog. I only suggest breaking up.
这么多年，我都还没找到自己，你叫我如何去找另一半？
I haven"t found myself for so many years. How do you want me to find my partner?
麻烦帮我转告诉桃花，让它不必开了，我要自己去种花海了。
Please help me to tell the peach blossom, so that it does not have to open, I go to plant the sea of flowers.
一般长得好看的人都是单身的，例如我。
Generally good-looking people are single, such as me.
奶茶半价找不到人一起喝？一人喝两杯奶茶难道不香吗？
Half price milk tea, no one to drink with? Isn"t it fragrant to drink two cups of milk tea for one person?
我等的另一只狗，他在多远的未来！
I wait for the dog, how far he is in the future!
秀恩爱的不要太过分了，我们单身狗也是有脾气的。
Show love don"t go too far, we single dog also have temper.
常年单身的我，是不是需要反思一下对性别的要求太苛刻了？
I am single all the year round. Do I need to reflect on the harsh requirements on gender?
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
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