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老爸：你年龄不小了，是时候找老婆了……我：人海茫茫，我找哪个的老婆啊……
Dad: you are not young. It"s time to find a wife Me: the sea of people is vast. Which wife I am looking for
今天去地里干活，有幸当了一回明星。路过的人都喊我：“地里热吧。”
Today, I went to work in the field and I was lucky to be a star. "The people who passed by shouted," it"s hot in the ground. "
读书时以为自己能做CEO，工作后发现只能做PPT。
When reading, I thought I could be CEO, and I found that I could only do PPT after work.
真正可怕的不是对牛弹琴，而是一群牛对着你弹琴。
What is really terrible is not playing the piano against the ox, but a group of cattle playing the piano against you.
过日子，平淡朴素就很好了，那种奢侈豪华的生活，肯定更好啊！
Life, plain and simple is very good, that luxury and luxury life, certainly better!
有时候，你想打通一个人的电话，比打通任督二脉都难。
Sometimes, it"s harder to make a person"s phone call than to get through the two contacts of the governor.
世界上最遥远的距离，是你在澳洲家里，而我在家里熬粥。
The furthest distance in the world is that you are in Australia, and I have porridge at home.
众人寻她千百度，蓦然回首， 那人依旧对我不屑一顾……
The crowd looked for her for a thousand Baidu, and suddenly looked back, and the man still despised me
抽自己抽上一个小时，抽多了，腮红也就有了。
He smoked himself for an hour and smoked too much, and blush was also there.
幸福就是，虽然上课没听，但发现听的人都没听懂。
Happiness is that although the class did not listen, but found that the people who listen to do not understand.
古代真好，承受太多压力就会成妖、成神、而现代，承受太多就会成神经病！
Ancient times are good, too much pressure will become demons, gods, and modern, too much will become neurotic!
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
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