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和对象一起干过最疯狂的事，就是20多年从来没见过面。
The craziest thing I"ve ever done with my partner is that I haven"t seen him for more than 20 years.
人生的悲惨在于：辛辛苦苦做了一晚上内容香艳的美梦，第二天早上醒来居然全都记不起来了。
The tragedy of life is that you have worked hard all night to have a beautiful dream, and you can"t remember it when you wake up the next morning.
我已成佛 四大皆空 支付宝空 微信空 钱包空 银行卡空
All is void, Alipay empty WeChat empty wallet, empty bank card empty.
有人说我不要脸，这简直胡扯，这么帅我哪舍得不要。
Some people say I"m shameless. This is nonsense. I"m so handsome that I"m not willing to.
世间本没有光棍，只是物价涨得多了，也就有了光棍。
There is no Bachelor in the world, but when prices rise much, there will be a bachelor.
从猴子变成人需要成千上万年，从人变回猴子只用一瓶酒。
It takes thousands of years to change from monkey to man, and only one bottle of wine to change from man to monkey.
以前手机短信是为了联络感情、谈恋爱、拜年用的，现在手机短信只是为了接收广告和验证码。
In the past, SMS was used to contact feelings, fall in love and pay New Year"s greetings. Now SMS is only used to receive advertisements and verification codes.
你努力之后才发现，智商的鸿沟是无法逾越的。
After you work hard, you find that the gap of IQ is insurmountable.
有些歌听前奏就爱上了 有些人看第一眼就喜欢上了 有些作业打开第一页就不想做了
Some songs fall in love after listening to the prelude, some people like it at the first sight, and some homework don"t want to do it after opening the first page
为了增进和同学们的感情，第一次月考我决定先帮你们垫底。
In order to improve the relationship with my classmates, I decided to help you get the bottom of the first monthly exam.
去买杯奶茶，店员问我要几分甜 我说跟我一样甜，店员说好的 然后给了我一杯柠檬水。
When I went to buy a cup of milk tea, the clerk asked me how sweet I wanted. I said it was as sweet as me.The clerk said yes, and then gave me a glass of lemonade.
打了辆出租车中途发现司机绕路了顿时眼泪就出来了也许他是世界上唯一想跟我多呆一会的人吧
When I took a taxi and found the driver detour, I burst into tears. Maybe he is the only person in the world who wants to stay with me for a while
学生时代，最擅长的事情就是，在四个选项里排除两个错的，然后在剩下两个里面 选个错的。
When I was a student, my best thing was to exclude two wrong ones from the four options, and then choose one wrong one from the other two.
收一个关门弟子，学费999，只教关门，现在报名还教关灯和关窗。
Collect a door closing disciple. The tuition fee is 999. He only teaches door closing. Now he signs up and teaches turning off the lights and windows.
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