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穷的时候以为有钱了就会快乐，等真的有钱了才发现，有钱岂止是快乐，那简直是醉生梦死的极乐。
When I was poor, I thought I would be happy when I was rich. When I was really rich, I found that being rich was not only happiness, but also bliss.
让老婆高兴的方法有很多，比如说送礼物、陪逛街、做好吃的、干家务等等，而让老公高兴的办法只要有一个，那就是“今晚回我妈家，你自己在家吧！”
There are many ways to make your wife happy, such as giving gifts, going shopping with you, doing delicious food, doing housework, and so on. There is only one way to make your husband happy, that is, "go back to my mother"s house tonight, and stay at home yourself!"
今天下定决心做废物，可没想到这行这么难，竞争如此激烈。
Today, I am determined to be a waste, but I didn"t expect that this industry is so difficult and the competition is so fierce.
二十多岁的年纪，有的人脱了单，有的人脱了贫，而我却脱了缰，像只哈士奇一样在二逼的道路上狂奔。
In my twenties, some people got rid of the single, some people got rid of the poverty, but I got rid of the reins and ran like a husky on the road of the second force.
好想关心你，可惜你总不生病。
I really want to care about you, but you never get sick.
认真处六个对象，微信一个，qq一个，网易云一个，淘宝一个，支付宝一个，抖音一个，先报名的当队长。
Seriously, six objects, one WeChat, one QQ, one NetEase, one Taobao, one Alipay, one voice, tiktok first.
是不是美女的生活都比较坎坷，如果这样我认输，输得一塌糊涂。
Is not beauty"s life more bumpy, if so, I admit defeat, lost in a mess.
为什么友谊的小船说翻就翻？因为有个人体重影响了平衡。
Why does the boat of friendship turn over? Because there"s a person whose weight affects balance.
其实喜欢一个女生就多买东西给她吃。吃胖了，没人追了，就是你的了。
In fact, if you like a girl, you can buy more food for her. Eat fat, no one chasing, it"s yours.
秀恩爱的人换了一批又一批，只有我，雷打不动地单身。
Show love for a batch of people, only me, single.
月亮不睡你不睡，吃点鸡爪开开胃。
If the moon doesn"t sleep, you don"t sleep. Eat chicken feet to have an appetizer.
入职第一天很开心发朋友圈：“今天找了个新工作，加油！”朋友回：“哪个加油站，能打折吗？
On the first day of employment, I was happy to send a circle of friends: "I found a new job today, come on!" Friend back: "which gas station, can discount?"?
买了条鱼，没敢杀，我想用水淹死它。
I bought a fish and didn"t dare to kill it. I want to drown it with water.
叫人还钱，就像是暗恋一样，总觉得不好意思说！当你鼓起勇气说了，搞不好连朋友都没得做！
Asking people to pay back money is like secret love. I always feel embarrassed to say it! When you summon up the courage to say, maybe you can"t even make friends!
我以为我是红酒，是需要品的，后来我才发现我是板蓝根，找我的都有病。
I thought I was red wine and needed to be tasted. Later, I found out that I was Banlangen and all the people who came to me were sick.
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