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为什么减肥不能嘴上说说，我除了嘴哪里还会说话？
Why can"t I talk about losing weight? Where can I talk besides my mouth?
身边高的矮的胖的瘦得丑的好看的，都有对象了，我是一个什么妖魔鬼怪？
The side tall short fat thin ugly good-looking, all had the object, I am a what demon ghost?
我的优点是：知错能改。我的缺点是：从来都不觉得自己错了。
My advantage is that you can correct your mistakes. My weakness is that I never feel wrong.
这辈子虽然没红过，但是被绿过，知足了。
Although I have never been red in my life, I have been green and satisfied.
我有什么缺点你尽管说，我放大给你看。
If I have any shortcomings, just let me enlarge them for you.
没回就是在钉钉，回了就是钉钉完了，回的温柔就是没布置作业，说话冲就是布置作业了，脾气特别暴躁就是作业布置多了。
If you don"t return, you are nailing. If you return, you are done. If you return gently, you are not assigned. If you speak quickly, you are assigned. If you are angry, you are assigned too much.
我也曾被人挽留过，她拉着我的手说，没买单想走？
I have also been retained, she took my hand and said, don"t pay to go?
见鬼小窍门，把大粪泼到自己的房间里，可以看见不干净的东西。
Damn the trick, you can see the unclean things by pouring the dung into your room.
小熊软糖和我你只能选一个，可是偷偷告诉你我有小熊软糖哦。
You can only choose one of the gummy bear and me, but secretly tell you that I have gummy bear.
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