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都说南方和北方差异很大，亲身经历以后发现确实如此，比如说在南方大家都说我丑，而到了北方大家都说我磕碜。
It is said that there are great differences between the South and the north. After personal experience, it is found that this is true. For example, in the south, everyone says I am ugly, while in the north, everyone says I am poor.
问：比恐怖片更可怕的事情是什么？答：玩笑开得正high，转眼看见了站在窗外的班主任！
Q: what is more terrible than horror movies? A: the joke was high. In the twinkling of an eye, I saw the head teacher standing outside the window!
笑我的人，麻烦你先把牙刷白了
Those who laugh at me, please turn your toothbrush white first
上帝总是公平的，他给了你丑的外表，也一定会给你低的智商，以免让你显得不协调。
God is always fair. He gives you an ugly appearance and will certainly give you a low IQ so as not to make you look uncoordinated.
人啊，长了颗红楼梦的心，却生活在水浒的世界，想交些三国里的桃园弟兄，却总遇到些西游记里的妖魔鬼怪。
People have a dream of Red Mansions, but they live in the world of water margin. They want to make some Taoyuan brothers in the Three Kingdoms, but they always encounter some demons and ghosts in the journey to the West.
等你以后结婚了，结婚对象不是我，我就搬到你家隔壁住，做一个安静的老王。
When you get married and the marriage object is not me, I will move next door to your house and be a quiet old Wang.
在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。
When looking at beautiful women in the street, a higher eye is appreciation, and a lower eye is hooliganism.
终于知道为什么我的脚总是冰冷的了，因为腿长，供血不足...俗称：高冷。
I finally know why my feet are always cold, because my legs are long and the blood supply is insufficient... Commonly known as high cold.
夜深了，孩子睡觉时哭了起来。父亲决定唱一段催眠曲哄他。结果刚唱了几句，隔壁就传来抗议声：还是让孩子哭吧！
It was late at night and the child began to cry while sleeping. Father decided to coax him with a lullaby. As a result, just after singing a few words, a protest came from the next door: let the children cry!
自己选择的路，如果跪着走都不完，不如站起来，打个车吧。
If you can"t finish walking on your knees, you might as well get up and take a taxi.
不能老盯着手机屏幕,要不时地抬起头,看看老师和老板的位置
You can"t always stare at the mobile phone screen. You should raise your head from time to time to see the position of the teacher and the boss
一位白人到黑人区发表竞选演说，为了赢得黑人选民的支持，演说中他竟脱口而出：“虽然我的皮肤是白的，但心却和你们一样黑！”
A white man went to the black area to make a campaign speech. In order to win the support of black voters, he blurted out: "although my skin is white, my heart is as black as you!"
喜欢吃一样东西是藏不住的，就算捂住嘴巴，口水还是会从指缝中溢出来。
If you like to eat something, you can"t hide it. Even if you cover your mouth, saliva will overflow from your fingers.
世界上如果有钱办不到的事情，加钱一定可以办到。
If money can"t do things in the world, it can be done with more money.
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