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一、和我在一起吧 起码我比别人多了十几斤肉再爱你.
Stay with me. At least I have a dozen pounds more meat than anyone else. Love you again.
二、我发起脾气来，我自己都害怕，我害怕别人打我。
I lost my temper, I was afraid of myself, I was afraid of being hit.
三、女生一般不喜欢大肚子的男生 因为小肚鸡长
Girls generally don"t like boys with big stomachs because they have long belly chickens
四、你惦记外面的女人 外面的男人也惦记你的女人
You miss the women out there, and the men out there miss your women
五、我是奥利奥希望哥哥用牛奶泡一泡天气有点冷三十七度的刚刚好
I"m Oreo. I hope my brother takes a dip in milk. It"s a little cold. It"s 37 degrees. It"s just right
六、称呼面前加个数字都是假的 比如素肉 素鸡 数三鲜 还有素颜。
It is false to add a number before the address, such as the number of plain meat, plain chicken, three fresh and plain face.
七、我在客厅抽烟。我抽烟，我妈抽我。我没和我妈计较，可能我妈也有烦恼吧！
I smoke in the living room. I smoke, my mother smokes me. I didn"t dispute with my mother, maybe my mother has troubles too!
八、人生有得必有失 我一个朋友嫁了一个很有钱的老 但他却因此失去了烦恼
There are gains and losses in life. A friend of mine married a very rich old man, but he lost his troubles
九、好烦 突然发现长得好看根本没用 风吹过来还是会冷。
I am so annoyed that I suddenly found that it is useless to look good. The wind will still be cold.
十、撩你还不如打游戏野怪 还显示血量 你连进度条都不给
You might as well play the game monster and show the amount of blood you don"t even give the progress bar
十一、今天加了一个男孩子 很开心 他真的超级好 超级有礼貌 最重要的是有孝心 他第一句他就跟我聊家人 他说聊你妈
Today, I added a boy. I am very happy that he is really super good, super polite, and most importantly, he has filial piety. The first sentence he said to me was about his family. He said to me about your mother.
十二、跟蚊子大战一宿，最后打成平手，它没喝饱我没睡着
After a night of fighting mosquitoes, it ended in a tie. It didn"t drink enough. I didn"t fall asleep
十三、我是一个比较成熟的人 像赌气不吃东西这种事我一般都是在吃饱后才做的.
I am a more mature person like angry do not eat this kind of thing I usually do after eating.
十四、我太容易认真了，我不应该谈恋爱，我应该躲在自动售货机后面递饮料，在串串店给藕片打孔，在超市织方便面
I am too easy to be serious, I should not fall in love, I should hide behind the vending machine to hand drinks, punch holes in the skewers, and weave instant noodles in the supermarket
十五、有些圈子里没必要要刻意融入，等到了时候你自然会被接纳，比如广场舞。
There is no need to deliberately integrate in some circles, and when it is time, you will naturally be accepted, such as square dance.
十六、昨天不是刚起床吗 怎么今天又要起床
Didn"t you just get up yesterday? why did you get up again today?
十七、考完英语听力，我就悟出一个道理:有些话，只能说给懂的人听。
After the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words can only be said to people who understand.
十八、我是一个憨憨来自中国河北，上学只为放学，恋爱已经结束，只爱timi吃鸡
I am a Hanhan from Hebei, China. I go to school only to finish school. My love is over and I only love timi to eat chicken.
十九、希望大家可以理智追星，我今晚不发朋友圈了，大家早点休息，不要为了我熬坏身体
I hope you can be rational, idolize. I won"t make friends tonight. Everyone should go to bed early and don"t burn out for me.
二十、别看我每天发朋友圈很闲的样子，我不发朋友圈也很闲.
Don"t look at the way I am very busy with my circle of friends every day. I don"t have a circle of friends and I am very busy.
二十一、海绵宝宝被蟹老板开除了 海绵宝宝含着泪说：蟹老板 蟹老板：不用谢
SpongeBob was fired by the crab boss. SpongeBob said with tears: Crab boss Crab boss: You"re welcome
二十二、曾梦想仗剑走天涯，谁知道手机没电不去了
I once dreamed of going to the end of the world with a sword. Who knows that the mobile phone has no electricity and can"t go
二十三、我现在的经济状况：找快递盒里好评返现的纸条
My current economic situation: looking for a note of praise in the courier box
二十四、如果菜咸了可以放一会 因为时间可以冲淡一切
If the dish is salty, it can be left for a while because time can dilute everything
二十五、我摊牌了，我是渣女，嘴上说着喜欢夏天，其实我只喜欢夏天的晚上，白天也太热了叭。
I showdown, I am a scum girl, mouth said like summer, in fact, I only like the summer night, the day is too hot trumpet.
二十六、你是不是在收集不和我说话的日子，然后准备召唤神龙
Are you collecting the days when you don"t talk to me and then preparing to summon the dragon?
二十七、原谅我盛装出席. 手握黑笔眉头紧锁. 奋笔疾书只为帮学霸垫底.
Forgive me for dressing up. Holding a black pen in my hand and frowning. Striving for a quick book is only the bottom for helping the student bully.
二十八、别人家的射手众星捧月养猪流 我玩的射手无人问津一路孤儿
The Sagittarius of other people"s family holds the moon and raises pigs. The Sagittarius that I play with has no interest in orphans all the way.
二十九、小时候我肠胃不好，经常放屁，有一天晚上在奶奶家睡觉，突然放了一个三四秒的屁，然后奶奶和我说：开去开门，你二叔骑摩托车回来了
When I was a child, I had a bad stomach and often farted. one night when I was sleeping at grandma"s house, I suddenly farted for three or four seconds. then grandma and I said, "open the door, your uncle came back on a motorcycle.
三十、"我穿过最潮的衣服就是洗了没干的
The trendiest clothes I"ve ever worn are the ones I washed and didn"t dry
三十一、你知道吗，我好想关心你，可是你老是不生病
You know, I really want to care about you, but you are always not sick.
三十二、有人闲置宝贝吗 反正我闲着也是闲着
Anybody idle, baby? I am idle anyway
三十三、本以为抓住了哥哥的手 就抓住了哥哥的心 没想到哥哥是个八爪鱼
I thought I grabbed my brother"s hand and grabbed my brother"s heart. I didn"t expect my brother to be an octopus
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