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以前车马邮件很慢，一生只够爱一个人，现在网络科技发达，一天能绿五十个人。
In the past, the mail was very slow, and I only loved one person in my life. Now with the development of network technology, I can green 50 people a day.
有人养猫养狗养鸟养鱼，有人养花草，而我比较高级，闭上眼睛就开始养神。
Some people raise cats, dogs, birds and fish, some people raise flowers and plants, but I am more advanced. I close my eyes and start to nourish myself.
抱着滚烫的正在充电的手机，并且把生死置之度外，这是我人生中少有的英勇时刻。
Holding a hot charging mobile phone and ignoring life and death, this is a rare heroic moment in my life.
每次我一个人走夜路都好害怕，天这么黑，我这么美，真怕别人看不见啊。
Every time I walk alone at night, I"m afraid. It"s so dark and I"m so beautiful. I"m afraid that other people can"t see me.
单身至今的原因：熟人不好下手，生人不好开口。
The reasons for being single so far: it"s hard for acquaintances to start, and it"s hard for strangers to speak.
有些人，一旦错过了，真得谢天谢地，锣鼓喧天，鞭炮齐鸣。
Some people, once missed, really thank God, gongs and drums, firecrackers.
停下休息的时候，不要忘记别人还在奔跑，所以请绊倒他！
When you stop to rest, don"t forget that someone else is still running, so please trip him!
像我们这个年纪，开电动车一定要戴安全头盔，否则，会被开宝马奔驰的同学认出来。
At our age, we must wear safety helmets when driving electric cars, otherwise, we will be recognized by students who drive BMW and Mercedes Benz.
假如可以选择生活，我宁愿简简单单。一个茶杯、一间茅屋、一亩良田、一亿存款。简简单单，挺好。
If I could choose life, I would rather be simple. A teacup, a cottage, an acre of good land, 100 million savings. It"s simple. It"s good.
作为一个别人眼中乐观的人，大概就是你上吊快死了，大家以为你在荡秋千。
As an optimistic person in other people"s eyes, it"s probably that you are hanging and dying. People think you are playing on the swing.
你每次骂别人时，有没有考虑过对方的感受？反正我是有，尽量不用方言，怕对方听不懂。
When you scold others, do you think about their feelings? Anyway, I have, try not to use dialect, afraid that the other party can not understand.
（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）
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