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一、我其实也知道强扭下来的瓜不甜，但是甜不甜的，要扭下来吃了才知道，如果不甜就扔掉，反正我喜欢糟蹋东西。
I actually also know strong twist down the melon is not sweet, but sweet is not sweet, to twist down to eat just know, if not sweet throw away, anyway I like to spoil things.
二、找对象要找那种胖胖有肉的，因为他会比别人多个十几二十斤的肉来爱你。
Looking for the object to look for the kind of fat fat meat, because he will than others more than ten or twenty pounds of meat to love you.
三、反正我就连喝口水都会胖，那我还不如去喝奶茶、雪碧、可乐呢！
Anyway, I even drink water will be fat, then I might as well drink milk tea, Sprite, Coke!
四、我求你了，你别离开我，请你把之前欠我的买奶茶的钱还给我行吗？
I beg you, you don"t leave me, please before you owe me to buy milk tea money back me?
五、单身太久的人是什么感受？就是看不得成双成对的东西，今天我煮个饺子，竟然有两个粘在一起了，气得我赶紧把它们分开。
How does it feel to be single for too long? Today, I cooked a dumpling and two of them stuck together. I was so angry that I quickly separated them.
六、那些男女之间存在纯友谊都那些人，我想穷、丑、矮你总得占了一条吧。
The pure friendship between those men and women are those people, I think poor, ugly, short you have to take a bar.
七、你知道我为你什么现在看起来这么胖吗？因为我受了太多生活的苦，被打肿了。
Do you know why I look so fat for you now? Because I"ve suffered so much in life, I"ve been beaten up.
八、真正的勇士是什么样子的？就是那些明明知道自己已经很胖了，但是还在继续不断吃下去的人。
What are the real warriors like? People who keep eating even though they know they"re fat.
九、现在大家的现状就是：脱发容易脱贫难，发福容易发财难。
The current situation is: hair loss is easy to get out of poverty, fat is easy to get rich.
十、以前我以为，只要我每天努力工作，努力加班，迷茫贫穷就追不上我，可是后来我才知道，原来真正追不上我的，其实是我的发际线。
Before I thought, as long as I work hard every day, hard overtime, confusion and poverty will not catch up with me, but later I know, the original really can not catch up with me, in fact, is my hairline.
十一、请问你的爱情之路不顺吗？为什么现在还是单身？就是太顺了，一个人都没有，才导致我现在还是单身一个人。
Is your love going badly? Why are you still single? It"s just that it"s so smooth and I don"t have anyone. That"s why I"m still single.
十二、虽然今天还没开始，但是还是辛苦我了。
Although today has not begun, but still hard for me.
十三、如果你有很多想说的话都说不出口的话，那就当是饭菜咽下去吧。
If you have a lot of want to say that words can not be said, it is the meal to swallow it.
十四、老天，我以后再也不会叫你爷了，二十几年过去了，我发现你一点都不疼爱眷顾你这孙女我。
God, I will never call you later, more than 20 years have passed, I found that you do not care for your granddaughter I.
十五、就算我们最后分手了，但是你也要答应我一件事情，一定不要还视频会员的密码好吗？
Even if we finally break up, but you also have to promise me a thing, must not return the password of the video member?
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