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1、下雨没带伞，我抬头讲了我的情感经历，老天爷直接无雨。
I didn"t bring my umbrella when it rained. I looked up and talked about my emotional experience. There was no rain.
2、重要通知：明天有一股超强冷空气，女孩子赶紧多加点衣服，注意保暖。男孩子发位置，我抱着睡。
Important notice: there will be a strong cold air tomorrow, girls quickly add more clothes, pay attention to keep warm. Boy hair position, I hold sleep.
3、时间就是金钱，你们出去玩的时候，不要叫我，我没时间。
Time is money. When you go out to play, don"t call me. I don"t have time.
4、不要再问我是不是一个人了，不是一个人难道还是一条狗吗？
Don"t ask me if I"m a person, not a human? Can I still be a dog?
5、好大的阵势，一个小小的男朋友居然还要本人亲自去找？
What a big situation, a little boy friend actually need me to look for it in person?
6、公主都是被王子吻醒的，而我除了饿醒就是被尿憋醒。
The princesses were all awakened by the prince"s kiss, and I woke up from hunger and urine.
7、要赶紧睡了，不然梦中情人都跟别人跑了。
Go to sleep quickly, or the lovers in your dreams will run away with others.
8、晚上睡觉忘了关门，有没有关门弟子，帮我关下门。
I forgot to close the door at night. Is there any disciple who closes the door? Please close the door for me.
9、现在的人天天手机不离手，要回你消息就回了，单身没关系，以后单身的日子还长着呢。
Today"s people do not leave their mobile phones every day. If you want to return your message, it doesn"t matter if you are single. In the future, the days of being single are still long.
10、历史总是惊人的相似，昨天的这个时候我饿了，今天我又饿了。
History is always amazingly similar. I was hungry at this time yesterday, and I was hungry again today.
11、我什么都能面对，就是不能面对手机原相机打开的那一瞬间。
I can face anything. Just can"t face the moment when the original camera of mobile phone is turned on.
12、现在的年轻人都听不进劝，我劝他们做我男朋友，没一个人肯听。
Now the young people can not listen to advice, I advise them to be my boyfriend, no one will listen.
图片来源@尹小悦Alisayue
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