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1、今年不想过年了，麻烦您退我一岁，谢谢！
I don"t want to celebrate the new year this year. Please give me back one year, thank you!
2、我想清楚了，你们还是离开我吧，你们需要一个能逗你们笑的好姐妹，而我是一个让人眼前一亮的美女。
I think clearly, you"d better leave me, you need a good sister who can make you laugh, and I am a beautiful woman who can make you laugh.
3、我问妈妈，为什么蜡烛上的火一闪一闪的，妈妈告诉我，那是精神小火。
I asked my mother why the fire on the candle flickered. My mother told me that it was a small spiritual fire.
4、别人都是宝藏女孩，我是肚子吃得又饱又胀的膨胀女孩。
Others are treasure girls. I am a full and bulging girl.
5、近朱者赤，近墨者黑，请你离我远一点。我一点也不想你变得跟我一样漂亮。
You"re closer to me. I don"t want you to be as beautiful as I am.
6、被一道数学题给难住了，于是我把题目对着天空讲了一遍，毕竟人算不如天算。
I was puzzled by a math problem, so I told it to the sky again. After all, human calculation is not as good as sky calculation.
7、你要明白一个道理，如果我打得过你的话。我根本就不会骂你。
You have to understand a truth, if I can beat you. I won"t scold you at all.
8、不开心的时候就去超市逛逛。你会听到很多的特大喜讯。
When I"m not happy, I go to the supermarket. You"ll hear a lot of great news.
9、如果全世界的人都不要你了，记得过来找我，我认识几个人贩子的。
If people all over the world don"t want you, remember to come to me. I know several traffickers.
10、我喜欢李白的诗，这是可（路由器）陆游气坏了，不让我上网了。
I like Li Bai"s poems. This is the router. Lu You is so angry that he won"t let me go online.
11、肚子好饿，我只能用拳头打向自己的肚子，帮自己出口饿气。
My stomach is so hungry that I can only hit my stomach with my fist to help me export my hunger gas.
12、做人就要有骨气，身材不好，可以练，不想练可以P图，网络的世界咱不能认输。
To be a person, you should have backbone. If you don"t want to practice, you can practice. If you don"t want to practice, you can do P-map. In the world of network, we can"t admit defeat
13、今天教大家如何当美女，第一步：自我陶醉。
Today, I will teach you how to be a beautiful woman. The first step is to be intoxicated.
14、如果你总是无视我，那我就去学电焊，让你眼前一亮。
If you always ignore me, then I"ll learn welding, let your eyes shine.
15、我和拖延症说，我要干掉你，拖延症说明天吧，我说好。
And procrastination, I"m going to kill you. Procrastination says tomorrow. I say yes.
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