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酸有100种 1.柠檬2.醋 剩下98种是看你和别的蛤蟆说话
There are 100 kinds of acid. 1. Lemon 2. Vinegar. The remaining 98 kinds are to see you talking to other toads
每次逛商场的时候导购追着问：“您好，我有什么可以帮你的吗？”说实话，我只想他帮我付钱
Every time I go shopping, the shopping guide asks, "Hello, can I help you?" to be honest, I just want him to pay for me
当代女士的特点是什么？上知天文，下晓地理，不下厨房，拍照美颜，出门化妆，包包带上。
What are the characteristics of contemporary women?
Know astronomy, know geography, don"t go to the kitchen, take photos, make up when you go out, and bring your bags.
做人要像壶一样乐观，屁股都烧红了，还有心情吹口哨。
Be as optimistic as a pot, your ass is red, and you are in the mood to whistle.
在路上遇到一个老大爷在拎东西，本想上去帮他拎的，随口说了句：老东西，大爷我帮你拎。
On the way, I met an old man carrying something. I wanted to go up and help him carry it. I said casually: old man, I"ll help you carry it.
我一向不太喜欢陌生人问我隐私问题。刚才有个不认识的人问我要去哪里，我说关你屁事？然后他就把我赶下了出租车。
I never like strangers asking me private questions. Just now someone I didn"t know asked me where I was going. I said it"s none of your business? Then he drove me out of the taxi.
经理问：那你为什么会迟到？员工吃惊地看着经理说：昨天你不是告诉我们做人要厚道（后到）。
The manager asked: then why are you late? The employee looked at the manager in surprise and said: yesterday you didn"t tell us to be kind (later).
我妈骂我 回应：你还敢跟我顶嘴？不回应：你聋了？
My mother scolded me and responded: do you dare to talk back to me? No response: are you deaf?
老师：同学们，今天我们来复习一下乘法口诀，三七？ 小明：四妾！ 老师：滚！
Teacher: students, today let"s review the multiplication formula, three seven? Xiao Ming: four concubines! Teacher: get out!
小时候我们都很快乐，因为那时候的我们 丑和穷都还不是很明显。
We were very happy when we were young, because we were ugly and poor at that time.
如果你觉得你泡的到我，大可以试试，我会让你知道什么叫心想事成！
If you think you can get me, you can try. I"ll let you know what success is!
当你感到日子过得不顺心的时候，建议去找老朋友聊天，你会发现他们也好不到哪里去。
When you feel that life is not going well, it is recommended to talk to old friends. You will find that they are not much better.
仔细想想，其实穷也是有好处的，比如别人的知道你比他们还穷，就不会找你借钱了，反而会警惕你向他们借钱！
Think about it carefully. In fact, being poor is also good. For example, if others know that you are poorer than them, they will not borrow money from you. Instead, they will be vigilant that you borrow money from them!
每一次读三国都有不一样的感受，刚开始喜欢关羽，后来喜欢诸葛亮，再后来喜欢曹操……然而经历了世事浮沉，人世沧桑后，喜欢的则是貂蝉。唉～
Every time I read the Three Kingdoms, I have different feelings. At first I like Guan Yu, then I like Zhuge Liang, and then I like Cao Cao... However, after the ups and downs of the world and the vicissitudes of life, I like Diao Chan. Alas ~
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