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有人问我 你天天减肥 有没有瘦，真是搞笑 你天天上班 有存款吗？
Someone asked me if you lose weight every day. It"s funny. Do you have a deposit at work every day?
做人一定要自信，毕竟你是唯一一个，相信你的人。
Be confident. After all, you are the only one who believes in you.
生活小妙招：如果很难过睡不着，就翘起自己的大拇指，然后对着他吹气，你就会被自己蠢笑。
Tips for life: if you are sad and can"t sleep, raise your thumb and blow at him, you will be foolishly laughed by yourself.
暗恋是成功的哑剧，说出来就成了悲剧。
Secret love is a successful pantomime, which becomes a tragedy.
走到考场全崩溃，见到卷子全流泪。背的东西全不考，考的东西全不会。
When I came to the examination room, I collapsed and burst into tears when I saw the paper. I don"t test anything I recite, I can"t test anything.
我的领带又找不到了，是不是你昨天又没有找到抹布？
I can"t find my tie again. Didn"t you find a rag yesterday?
每当我找到了成功的钥匙，就有人把锁给换了。
Whenever I found the key to success, someone changed the lock.
所谓的单纯，长了翅膀的就是天使，没长翅膀的就是白痴。
The so-called simplicity, those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.
如果你惹到别人不开心，一定要从自己身上找原因，确保下一回还能惹到他。
If you make others unhappy, you must find the reason from yourself to ensure that you can make him unhappy next time.
考试得了零分，我大声嚷嚷：“老天啊，我到底做错了什么？”同桌冷冷地回答：“你做错了所有的题。”
When I got zero in the exam, I shouted, "God, what did I do wrong?" The deskmate replied coldly, "you have made all the wrong questions."
你脸那么大，一定是这个世界上最给我面子的人。
Your face is so big, you must be the most face-saving person in the world.
唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也。
Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find.
头像最好别用自己照片，不然下线了多不吉利。
Avatars had better not use their own photos, otherwise it"s unlucky to go offline.
不要同没有素质的人争论，因为那就像与猪摔跤，赢了不光荣，输了更丢人。
Don"t argue with people without quality, because it"s like wrestling with pigs. It"s not glorious to win and more humiliating to lose.
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