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1、自从人晒黑了以后，脸色好看了，牙齿也变白了，喝酒也不脸红了。
Since people tan, their face looks good, their teeth turn white, and they don"t blush after drinking.
2、口水最大的作用是用来数钱的，而不是跟谁讲道理，所以你还是接受我的观点留着口水数钱。
The biggest function of saliva is to count money, not to reason with anyone, so you still accept my point of view and keep saliva to count money.
3、我喜欢睡觉也是有原因的，因为床可以让我依靠，被子可以让我拥抱。
I like to sleep for a reason, because the bed can let me rely on, the quilt can let me hug.
4、人生最大的耻辱是什么？就是考试作弊了还没有及格。
What is the biggest shame in life? It"s cheating in the exam and I haven"t passed yet.
5、为了能够减肥，我跪在佛前求了很久很久，突然佛祖显灵了，他捏了捏肚子，你是不是瞎？
In order to lose weight, I knelt in front of the Buddha and begged for a long time. Suddenly the Buddha appeared. He pinched his stomach. Are you blind?
6、待我长发及腰，就能遮住自己的一身肥膘。
When my hair achieves waist length, I can hide my body fat.
7、有的时候人家说你年轻，像个学生，并不是因为你真的年轻，而是你穿得比较土。
Sometimes people say you are young, like a student, not because you are really young, but because you wear more rustic.
8、也许你对现状不满，觉得自己胖、穷、丑，但请你相信这一切都会好起来的，慢慢的你就会觉得自己好胖、好穷、好丑。
Maybe you are dissatisfied with the status quo and think you are fat, poor and ugly, but please believe that everything will get better. Gradually you will feel fat, poor and ugly.
9、世界上本来是没路的，可人走得多了就变成了路，可现在总有人乱走，搞得我都不知道怎么走了。
There was no road in the world, but when people walk more, it becomes a road, but now there are always people walking around, so I don"t know how to go.
10、喜欢一个女孩就拼命地给她买东西吃，等她吃胖了，就不会再有人要她了。
If you like a girl, you will try your best to buy her something to eat. When she gets fat, no one will want her any more.
11、追到手时心中一阵窃喜，觉得自己终于把她骗到手了，生活了一段时间才发现，原来是自己上的贼船。
When I caught her, I felt a twinge of joy in my heart. I felt that I had cheated her finally. It took me some time to find out that it was the thief ship I was on.
12、遇见你花光了我所有的运气，从此考试再也没有蒙对过选择题。
It took all my luck to meet you, and I never got the multiple choice right in the exam.
13、请你永远不要忘记那个陪你聊到深夜的人，就是因为他你的黑眼圈才那么重，皮肤才那么差。
Please never forget the person who chats with you late into the night. It is because of him that your dark circles are so heavy and your skin is so bad.
14、有人问我骗子那么聪明，骗人的手段那么多，你为什么从来没有上当过？我嘴角露出了一丝不屑，高傲地说出了一个字，穷。
Some people ask me that the swindler is so smart and there are so many ways to cheat people. Why have you never been cheated? My mouth showed a trace of disdain, arrogant said a word, poor.
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