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我记得你以前的名字叫做李闯啊，为什么现在改名叫李门了？
I remember your former name was Li Chuang. Why did you change your name to Li men now?
好像没有对象的人，就能把钱攒下来很多一样。
It seems that people without objects can save a lot of money.
同样都是拥有了好几百万的人，为什么别人拥有的是钱，而我拥有的是像素。
Similarly, they all have millions of people. Why do others have money and I have pixels.
是因为你家下水道太黑暗了吗，才造就了你这种说话不用脑子的人。
Is it because your sewer is too dark that you are a man without a brain.
别人都是把存在卡里面，而我不一样，把工资都存在卡路里里面。
Others store their wages in cards, but I store my wages in calories.
我不太会玩微信，我以为加了好友，我们俩就能在一起。
I"m not very good at wechat. I thought we could be together by adding friends.
你想一夜成名吗？你想一夜暴富吗？你想变就有工作嘛？过来我们俩一起想。
Do you want to be famous overnight? Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you have a job if you want to change? Come on, let"s think together.
天气慢慢变冷了，晚上睡觉的时候多盖点土，别出来瞎蹦跶。
It"s getting colder. Cover more soil when you go to bed at night. Don"t come out and hop around.
我想努力变成你喜欢的样子，然后打死也不跟你在一起。
I want to try to be what you like, and then I won"t be with you.
为什么同样是几千块的手机，却收不到喜欢的人任何信息。
Why can"t you get any information from the people you like when you have thousands of mobile phones.
其实最好的友谊就是毕业后换了五个号码，他结婚的时候依旧能找到我。
In fact, the best friendship is to change five numbers after graduation, and he can still find me when he gets married.
有人觉得我很穷，我笑了，这不是在说废话吗？
Some people thought I was poor. I smiled. Isn"t this nonsense?
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