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一、往往当一个人说:不是我吹牛这个时候,她就开始要吹牛了。
Often when a person says: I am not bragging, she begins to brag.
二、没有什么困难是战胜不了我的。
There is no difficulty that can"t overcome me.
三、学习就学习呗,还考试多过分,怎么人与人之间一点信任都没有。
If you study, you will study, and you will have too many exams. How come there is no trust between people?
四、请大家一定要记住一句话,早饭一定要吃,不是因为健康不健康的问题,而是因为这是你一天当中最便宜的一顿饭。
Please remember one sentence, breakfast must be eaten, not because of unhealthy health, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day.
五、有的人就是不知足 已经有双下巴了,还想要双眼皮。
Some people just don"t have enough to have double chins and want double eyelids
六、本想瘦得倾国倾城,没想到胖的五花八辰。
I wanted to be thin and truly beautiful, but I didn"t expect to be fat.
七、有的人为减肥做出的最大努力就是在吃火锅吃烤串,吃蛋糕的时候,配一瓶无糖饮料。
Some people try their best to lose weight by eating hot pot and skewers, and when eating cakes, matching them with a bottle of sugar-free drinks.
八、我有个混了十年的朋友,直到去年金盆洗手,现在有车有房,我问他怎么做到的,他说扫黑悬赏一半他都认识。
I have a friend who has been mixed up for ten years, until last year, and now I have a car and a house. I asked him how he did it, and he said that he knew half of the rewards for sweeping the black.
九、离500万最近的一次是在一个下午,我和一辆运钞机并排堵在了一起。
The nearest time to 5 million was in an afternoon when I was stuck side by side with a money carrier
十、垃圾食品一定要晚上偷偷吃,这个点脂肪都睡着了,不会被发现的。
Junk food must be eaten secretly at night. All the fat is asleep and will not be found
十一、微信更新后我终于能像明星一样喊出这句话:别拍了别拍了。
After the WeChat update, I can finally shout out this sentence like a star: Don"t shoot, don"t shoot
十二、地震时设有反应迅速,舍友从寝室2楼跳了下去,后经学校统计,他成了本次3.6级地震中唯一的一位受害者……
During the earthquake, there was a quick response. The roommate jumped from the second floor of the dormitory. After school statistics, he became the only victim in the 3.6-magnitude earthquake
十三、我每次学习的时候时间都仿佛静止了,以为自己学了两个小时,一看时间才过去五分钟,我在想,如果我一直拼命学习,可能会长生不老
Every time I study, time seems to be still. I think I have studied for two hours, but only five minutes have passed. I am thinking that if I study hard, I may live forever.
十四、今年是第一次,因为新冠病毒,我没有能去国外度假,往年都是因为没钱
This year is the first time, because I couldn"t go abroad for a holiday in novel coronavirus, because I had no money in previous years
十五、胡思乱想能瘦身的话,我现在可能只剩下灵魂了。
If I think I can lose weight, I may only have my soul now
十六、人类大脑真的是太神奇了 它从出生那天起,每天24小时都正常运作,但只要我们参加考试或坠入爱河,它就会立刻停止……
The human brain is really amazing. It works 24 hours a day from the day of birth, but as long as we take the exam or fall in love, it will stop immediately …
十七、不如告诉父母,自己追星花了多少钱,反正闲着也是闲着,不如挨顿揍。
It"s better to tell your parents how much money you spent in idolize. Anyway, if you are idle, you should be beaten
十八、风情万种的女人是打火机,不解风情的女人是灭火器。
A woman with various amorous feelings is a lighter, a woman who doesn"t understand amorous feelings is a fire extinguisher
十九、你是我的优乐美,请问我喝完了是不是就可以把你扔掉了。
You are my Yosemite. Can I throw you away after I drink it?
二十、生活不止当下的苟且 ,还有前任的请帖。
Life is not only the present, but also the invitation of the predecessor
二十一、人生没有彩排,每天都是直播,不仅收视率低 而且工资不高。
There is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day. Not only is the ratings low, but the salary is not high
二十二、在超市,我悄悄把手伸到条码扫描器上,只见屏幕显示器上显示:猪蹄8元。我以为机器坏了,把脸凑过去看,屏幕显示:猪头肉5元。
In the supermarket, I reached into the barcode scanner quietly, only to see the screen display: pig"s trotters 8 yuan. I thought the machine was broken, so I put my face together and looked at it. The screen showed: 5 yuan with pig"s head meat
二十三、我以前就好气男的为什么喜欢找别的女的聊天,我就找别的男的聊,结果那感觉上头啊,相见恨晚啊,那家伙。
I used to be angry with men. Why did I like to chat with other women? I just talked with other men. As a result, it felt like meeting each other late, that guy
二十四、我不希望叫我起床的是闹钟,也不希望叫我起床的是梦想,我希望没人叫我起床!
I don"t want an alarm clock to wake me up, and I don"t want a dream to wake me up. I hope no one wakes me up!
二十五、一定要记住晚上跟你聊天的人,因为他们,你才长痘痘!
Be sure to remember the people you chat with at night, because of them, you have acne!
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