一生很长，要和有趣的人在一起，比如我。
You have to spend a long life with interesting people, like me.
人家学校拼空调，拼风扇，我们学校拼心静自然凉。
People"s schools compete with air conditioners and fans, and our schools compete with calmness.
所有的坏情绪，无非来自考试、长胖、缺钱、没对象。
All the bad moods come from exams, weight gain, lack of money and no objects.
现在的年轻人有三样东西不能碰：追星，熬夜，王者荣耀，越碰你会越觉得，单身一个人可真有意思！
There are three things that young people can"t touch now: chasing stars, staying up late, and glory of the king. Otherwise, you will feel that It"s fun to be single!
每次骂人都不好意思，我捏紧拳头，憋红了脸，也只能小声地说一句：“你坏死了！”
I feel embarrassed when I scold others. so I clenched my fist and blushed,I can only say in a low voice: "you are bad!
男女之间相处，女人要懂得让着男人。就拿我妈来说，她做任何事就都让着我爸，比如让他洗衣服，让他做饭，让他刷碗…
In the relationship between men and women, women should be humble to men. Take my mother for example, She told my dad to do everything, such as washing clothes, cooking and washing dishes.
我的肥肉前两天离家出走，最近又回来了！
My fat meat ran away from home two days ago and came back recently!
有人问我，怎么做到每天都这么沙雕的，在这里统一回复一下：装的。
Someone asked me why I was so funny every day. Here"s a unified reply: it"s fake.
祝你今天愉快，你明天的愉快，留着我明天再说。
I wish you a happy day, and I will tell you tomorrow about your happiness of tomorrow.
图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！
